One of the best tools to empower others, clarify comms, nudge teams in the right direction and build beautiful relationships is good feedback.
But it is an art, to give clear feedback that also lands in a way that makes the receiver feel empowered and not belittled or angry or defensive. The 4 points below can help:
1) Feedback has to be immediate. Don’t sit on feedback. If you have to say something to someone, say it quickly, in the same context, when the situation is still fresh.
2) Feedback is given on a situation / behavior, not on a person. It is about a specific time and place and a specific action. It is not about the person as a whole. It is not about their identity, it is about that particular behavior. Make this very clear to them.
3) Praise publicly, criticize privately. Positive feedback should be in public. Let the receiver know that they did something great, in front of others. But criticize in private; even if your negative feedback is right, groupthink will make the receiver behave differently in a group.
4) Give feedback from a place of deep care. From a place of tough candor and love. If you are struggling with the question, “Am I being too harsh? What if the person feels too bad?” etc, as yourself this question instead: “Is the feedback making the receiver objectively better?”. If the answer is yes, tough love is better than avoidance or delay.