Don’t negotiate with yourself.
You know that voice in your head that says, “It’s ok, you don’t need to work out today. You will absolutely do it tomorrow” or “I know you had decided on 10 minutes of YouTube, but let’s just watch one more video.” That’s the Instant Gratification Monkey or IGM for short (thanks Tim Urban for the hilarious nomenclature!). The IGM always negotiates with the Rational Decision Maker (RDM) in your brain; he begs, pleads, holds the RDM to ransom, and does everything in his power to derail the RDM’s plans for a productive day. The moment you let the IGM take control, the day slips by and you are lying on your bed at night, cursing yourself, feeling guilty, and wondering how you could let this happen, again.
This is not just you, I promise. The IGM is very powerful, and he resides in all of us.
All we need is to ask the IGM to STFU, and go about our tasks, right? ‘Just’ not give into temptation? If only it were that easy.
So what is the way out? I have tried many methods but the IGM always grinds willpower to dust. What has worked for me is the following: Deep awareness and acknowledgement of the IGM.
- Imagine the IGM in your mind, in vivid detail. Imagine him holding you hostage with a gun, like a terrorist; not letting you do that thing that will move your life forward. When you become aware, the illusion is broken. When you observe him closely, he looks silly; he becomes afraid and he loses his power over you.
- Tell him, you don’t negotiate with terrorists. Then ask him to STFU, and move on to your immediate next step in your most important project.
There’s a Tamil movie dialogue where the hero says “Once I’ve made up my mind, I don’t listen even to myself”.
Be like the Tamil movie hero. Don’t negotiate with yourself.